You wouldn’t believe how much I missed being able to kick back and watch English TV programmes when I was living in Spain. However, now that I’m back in the UK, it’s plain to see that there was absolutely no need for such pathetic pining.
Since I’ve been back, I’ve been observing what’s on the box and I’ve come to the conclusion that, like the feeling of ‘missing out’ where my friends in England were concerned, there was absolutely no need to feel that way about the lack of BBC One, ITV and Channel 4 because, quite frankly, English television is appalling.
Gone are the days of (in my opinion) brilliantly scripted comedies, such as The Vicar of Dibley and Peter Kay’s superb Phoenix Nights (though I think you have to be a Northerner to truly appreciate the humour in that one). Nowadays, soap operas aside, I can pretty much guarantee one police drama (usually The Bill), one cookery show (usually Masterchef), one hospital drama (usually Holby City) and one reality tv show (Ladette to Lady or a programme about some simpleton trying to create an eco-friendly island) every bloody night of the week. It’s the whole ‘Groundhog Day’ thing again (yawn). I’m sick to death of it. You’d think that since most Britons spend their days and nights indoors, there’d be more variety and a better standard of programmes. This country just can’t get anything right.
I bet you’re thinking I sound like some whinging old hag! Well, that’s how this country makes me feel. It makes me angry. Everything about it is just so dull and repetitive. How can anybody be happy in a place like this? I want to vomit all over a map of Britain right now. Seriously. Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh! Ahhh, that’s better.
