Remembering a year of virtual insanity
Remembering a year of virtual insanity.
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Archive for spain expats
Since returning to the UK (after working for a web-based property portal in sunny Spain for over a year), I have realised that my ‘international’ working experience was exactly that - an experience!
Unlike the repetitive nature of British working life, no two days were ever the same while I was abroad. Each hour offered a new and exciting challenge, whether it was strictly work-related or something more juicy, like one of the directors throwing a hissy fit and threatening to give another member of staff a broken jaw. There was never a dull moment.
Right now, I’m sat at the desk of my new job in the UK and I long for someone to light a cigar in the office, change their job title every two minutes, bring their pet poodle in or for an i ll-tempered director to shout at everybody til they cry. But no, that kind of thing just doesn’t happen here. Don’t get me wrong, there’s bitching and back-stabbing but it’s all done on the quiet. No one speaks out here and that makes for a very dull working day. A day I’m sick to death of because its the same thing, over and over and over and over.
There were some real characters at the office in Spain. I remember looking around in a meeting and thinking ‘not one of these people is sane, they’re all freaks!’. That might sound a little harsh but it’s true. In their own little ways, they were all slightly crazy and that’s what made the place such fun.
Let’s see - there was the woman that waddled like a penguin when she walked, so me and my friends named her, erm, Penguin, there was a guy that looked like Frankenstein’s Monster, a couple of stalker-type lads in the sales department, a bloke who thought he was smooth but actually resembled a pot-belly pig, a compulsive liar, a coke addict (no, not the drug, I’m talking Coca Cola here, seriously!), a couple of prostitutes, one or two kerb crawlers, a girl obsessed with American sitcoms, a cool and very amusing South African guy (love you!), a middle-aged Spanish pot-smoking hippy woman, a girl with extreme coffee breath, a totally insane receptionist (love you!), a very fun Argentinean girl and a London lass with a love of leopard-prints! The rest were horrendous - I couldn’t begin to describe them to you. Even as a writer, I simply can’t find enough words!
Anyway, if you worked for the same company and enjoyed the daily ‘episodes’, share your story with me - I’d love to hear what your highlights were!
I wish we’d have had a ’school-photo’ kind of picture taken!
Recommended track: ‘I Still Remember’ by Bloc Party.
Eat tea, phone home
Eat tea, phone home.
Inspired by an article on The Times website , I have decided to list my top ten favourite Spanish foods.
No wonder I lost so much weight towards the end of my year and a bit in Spain - the food is always fresh, it’s healthy and much more appealing than the wealth of fat-drenched junk you get here in the UK.
I remember sitting back, eating my tea on the beach in the evening sun and thinking ‘man, I’ve got is soooooo good out here!’
Anyway, getting back to the point, my top ten Spanish foods are:
1. Albondigas (meatballs)
2. Gambas Pil Pil (prawns in sizzling hot and olive oil with garlic)
3. Ensalada de Pulpo (octopus salad)
4. Chorizo (spicy Spanish sausage in a red wine sauce)
5. Paella (Rice, seafood and chicken)
6. Sandwich Mixto (ham and cheese toasted sandwich)
7. Patatas Bravas (crispy potatoes in a spicy tomato sauce)
8. Calamares (squid rings)
9. Sardinas (fresh sardines made on a boat-shaped bbq by the sea)
10. Croquetas de Pollo (chicken croquettes)
Strangely, one of the best places to eat in Marbella (for a quick snack) was the BP petrol station cafe! It was completely Spanish (and so it should be, but what I mean is it wasn’t the type of establishment which attracted beer-swilling Brit holiday makers) and everything on the menu was truly Espanol! The cafe catered mainly for hungry truck drivers and builders who were no doubt assembling a new development nearby. I stuck out like rose amongst the thorns in there but the food was great and with tapas at €1 a pop, there was certainly nothing to grumble about.
Another place I loved was La Taberna del Pintxo, one of four restaurants of its kind, located in the south of Spain. Here, you can pick and choose as much or as little as you like, when you like. I used to sit outside where there were barrel-shaped tables and I’d simply wait for one of the staff to come out with a tray of delights while I drank Tinto de Verrano by the bucket load. All the food at ‘Pintxo’ was created using bread as a base. For example, a very simple but very delicious favourite of mine was chorizo sausage on a small piece of white baguette, held together by a toothpick. Another example could be spinach topped with bubbling melted cheese on bread, held together by a plastic sword. Again, simple but extremely tasty. After you’d finished eating, the waiter would count how many toothpicks or swords were left on the plate and tally up the bill that way. I would advise the owner of these restaurants never to open one in the UK - everyone would hide the toothpicks and swords up their sleeves, or do a runner beforehand!
Recommended track: ‘Echo Beach’ by Martha and The Muffins.
Not drinking: It CAN be done!
Not drinking: it can be done.
I am proud to announce that I have NOT been drunk since 23rd December 2007. It is now 3rd April 2008 and although I have had the odd glass of Cava on a Friday night, I have managed to remain sober.
Gone are the days of climbing up onto the bar in heels and pouring vodka over me and my friends while The Prodigy’s ‘Smack My Bitch Up’ pounds through the room, creating chaos on the dance floor (and that’s not half of it)…
That was only six months ago. How things change!
Anyway, the moral of the story is: it can be done. All you have to do is move to a remote village in the north of England, which has about as much charisma as tin of Spam, sit in the attic all day and all night while the rain splatters the roof, lose the will to have any kind of fun whatsoever and there you have it - pure soberness!
Recommended track: ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’ by Arctic Monkeys.
Living in the sun
Living in the sun.
During my first few months of living Spain, one of the main things I remember was the inability to separate my daily working life from the typical holiday lifestyle which one would usually associate with the Spanish Costas. This involves heavy drinking and smoking, over eating and talking to absolute strangers for hours on end. For the first couple of days, this was great fun but two months later, when I really should have settled down, I was still out til 4am every night and then getting up for work at 8am with a banging headache. Not ideal really. However, the fact that I lived with the most insane girl I’ve ever met did not help matters. She would pester me to go out to the bar near our apartment every single night and when I said no, she’d always persuade me somehow. Either that, or go in a bad mood. She was devious and latched onto men like a slimy little (acne-covered) leech. She made me cringe and I soon discovered I could no longer stand to be in her presence, let alone her apartment. So I packed my bags and moved in with Martin. A guy I’d only known for about a week. He was in a band - the same band I later joined and fronted (Sammy’s Escape) - and supported Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel.
It was around this time that I wrote the song Factor 30.
The lyrics were almost a cry for help. I felt as if I was living on another planet. Nothing seemed real or structured and to be honest, I was having far too much fun, it didn’t feel right. Isn’t life supposed to be dull?
Anyway, now that I’m back in the UK, where life really IS dull, I can safely say that I would give anything to be back in Espana, maybe not living the crazy life, but living. Which is more than I do here.
Factor 30
Came out here for the easy life
But that was just a dream
The days are long and the nights are crazy
And I’m caught in between
Never thought I’d end up here
With just a suitcase for my vanity
No one told me the sun and the sea
Would lead to such insanity
Coz no one understands the way it is
The way you have to be
It’s not all factor 30, baby
And 24 degrees
So please, won’t you rescue me?
I don’t quite understand just why I’m here
Or what brought me to this land
But I’m grateful for the mountain views,
The rolling waves and the sand
One day it’ll all make some sense
At least that’s what I’m hoping
This place has really f*@ked me up
And baby I’m not joking
Coz no one understands the way it is
The way you have to be
It’s not all factor 30, baby
And 24 degrees
So please, won’t you rescue me?
Tracks which remind me of my year in Spain:
‘Young Folks’ by Peter, Bjorn & John
‘Get Dancy’ by New Young Pony Club
‘Dead Disco’ by Metric
‘Sam’s Town’ by The Killers
‘Killing The Light’ by BRMC
‘Love in a Trashcan’ by The Raveonettes
What was I thinking?
What was I thinking? This morning, my friend Nicky, a girl I met in Spain (and our drummer’s sister), emailed me some pictures of me and the rest of the band, Sammy’s Escape, supporting Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel at Estepona bullring back in August 2007. I have to admit, it brought a tear to my eye. So much has changed since then. When I look at the pictures, I think of how happy I was and how boring my life is now that I’m back in England. I must have been insane to leave such a beautiful place, such crazy but interesting people and friends that became more like family to me. What was I thinking?!!! Anyway, the gig was awesome, one of my greatest achievements so far. I’d love the chance to do it again someday but who knows what’s around the corner… check out some of the photos below: n508269450_98744_89802.jpgn508269450_98746_94452.jpgn508269450_98747_96693.jpgn508269450_98750_3492.jpgn508269450_98753_15112.jpgwith-a-rebel.jpg Recommended track of the day: ‘Honest Mistake’ by The Bravery.
Supporting Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel
At precisely 9:20pm on Friday 10th August, 1007, my band, Sammy’s Escape, of which I am the lead singer, performed live at Estepona bullring as one of two opening acts for 70’s legends, Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel.It was a very surreal evening. Our sound was superb- you could hear every word as clear as day, unlike our previous gigs, and it felt amazing to be on the other side after years of watching bands and wishing I was up there with them. Wearing the word ‘Artist’ on tags around our necks had to be the funniest part, well, that and the fact that after the gig, I got so drunk I didn’t even realise the guy who was posing for photos with me backstage wasn’t even Steve Harley- it was his drummer!!! P.S. If anyone has any photos of the gig, let me know, as most of mine are on my poorly laptop and I can’t get to them at the moment.
